I’m not sure where to start this post, so I guess I will start from the beginning.
I screwed up.
I’m not sure if anyone noticed but I took down my post about lolicon. It was a post that I hemmed and hawed over putting up for a number of reasons.
The final version that made it to my page was probably my third draft of it, and I thought I had a solid point.
While Jeko’s argument did have a couple of threads I could have pulled on, I assumed they were accidental overstatements rather than actual problems. His fundamental point, while one-sided, was sound. So I tried to imagine what the other side of that argument would be.
I did a fair amount of research, but it certainly wasn’t exhaustive. I found any number of articles that appeared to cement my point. I didn’t share all of my links, but I did put a couple of them in the post.
Well within a few hours I was disabused of that notion that I knew what I was talking about. The post was quickly shared on Twitter and people soon found all of the holes in what I had to say.
I don’t want to spend too much time talking about that. I’m not here to defend my errors. Mistakes were made. That was the first reason I took the post down.
The other is really what I wanted to talk about. I overestimated my stomach for controversy.
The Internet is strange
Within an hour of putting that post up, I was getting a flood of people to my blog. It is easily the most read thing I have put up in since restarting the blog.
There was a time when that would have filled me with joy, but all I felt was apprehension. I figured I was getting hated on somewhere, and it wasn’t obvious where. People weren’t leaving comments. They weren’t telling me I was stupid.
In fact, even on Twitter, the person who posted about it didn’t even tag me. I’m pretty good at finding things and it took me a bit, but I did hunt it down. And I felt horrible about my mistakes.
This is the first time in a while that I misunderstood the Internet. I used to post something, and people would point out the flaws and I would either shrug or I would acknowledge it. Somewhere in the last 10 years, the Internet has turned into a place where one side or the other takes something back to their private chamber to savage it.
This made me far more uncomfortable then I would like. I prefer to start conversations rather than controversy. I’m not after clicks or attention. I mean if I get 20 views on a post then I’m happy. I don’t need more than that.
Reflecting back on it, I could have handled it better, and I was naive to think that wouldn’t happen. If I didn’t want to court controversy, then I should kept quiet, and went with my first instinct.
Sticking to my lane
When I restarted this blog, it was with the intention to write pretentious nonsense. Am I really qualified to analyze anime? No. Not really. But I want to share the things I see, and go back and watch some older shows and talk about them.
Is it really popular? Not really.
But I’m not trying to be popular.
Really I should have stuck with my lane. I’m not qualified to talk about Japanese culture, so I shouldn’t have. I don’t really care if people enjoy loli or not. So I had no stakes in this discussion.
Will I step out of my lane again? Probably.
I mean I’ll try not to, but I like trying to find a middle way through problems, or at least try to find different ways to look at them. I definitely invite people to call me on it. I just hope it’s more pleasant in the future.
Thank you for reading